Some days or weeks, I wonder why in the world did I become a mom, or what made me decided to have another baby!? I am not good at this mom thing, and I don't know what in the heck I am doing!
My day:
* I struggle to get out of bed. I have been sleep deprived for over 2 years. Why you ask? It's a very long story, but my dear Eliza still sleeps with us. In a Queen size bed. I know you are all thinking "WHY"?? Again, it's a long story. But trust me, their is a logical explanation. At least it seems logical to me. But that isn't the point, the point is, I don't for the life of me, know how to get her into her own bed. Every one and their dog has advice, and trust me, I taken it and used it, with no luck. She also has bad anxiety when she isn't with me. A long story, again. But to make a long story short, I feel like a failure because I don't know how to go about this problem. Every ones advice is so overwhelming! you have those, that look down on you, and think your crazy and then you have those that will tell you, you should co sleep, and don't make her sleep alone if she isn't ready. She isn't ready, but I am beyond ready.
*After I stagger out of bed, I make breakfast for 4 kids, that have been awake long before me. So once again, I feel bad for sleeping too long. Other Mom's are up and going at the break of Dawn. Other Mom's are dressed, make up and hair done, and usually out the door.
*Next I do some sort of work out. I either do a work out video or go into my room to do the treadmill. My kids don't like me working out. So I feel guilty leaving them for 45 min to do my thing. While I am working out, my kids are crying, or fighting. Then they are constantly coming into my room tattling, or asking for food, or begging me to be done. Other mom's get in a good work out. Why can't I? It wears me out, and I wonder, what am I doing wrong? Why can't they behave themselves for 45 min?
*By now I have to get some chores done. Usually I start with the kitchen, so I have clean dishes and a clean space to make lunch. another thing that gets me down. It seems my house is never clean! I have to keep at it, and keep at it all day, every day and it doesn't stay clean! I have had advice on that too. I have tried it all. I know a clean house isn't that important. But I need to at least have a half way decent house or else it gets me down. It doesn't need to be perfect or spotless, but somewhat presentable. It seems to me, that other mom's have a tidy house most of the time, and have time to go out and play. I don't. I am working at my house all day!
*Now that my kitchen is half way decent, I need to make lunch. Then clean up after lunch. It's just tiring! How do other mom's pack a picnic lunch or make a big production?
*I need to take a shower, but I think first let me straighten up or clean the rest of the house before I do that. Oh and I better throw in a load of laundry, because the pile is almost to the rafters. I can barely keep up with laundry, let alone ironing and nicely folding the clothes and putting them away, right away.
*Ok, It's 1 or 2, I think I can shower now. (some days I am in PJ's all day without showering) I know what you are thinking. Yuck. I rarely apply make up, and my hair is always in a bun. I feel like I don't have time to get all dolled up. I go out and see other mom's with their hair all curled and everything in it's place and then...... there is me. talk about depressing.
*Eliza is fussy and needs a nap. Can I lay her down in a bed and she sleeps? oh no. she doesn't know the meaning of sleep. again, why don't I know how to get my toddler to sleep?! Other mom's have all their kids down for naps. long wonderful naps. I can't even get 1down. I try for an hour and if she doesn't sleep, I give up.
*Back to my chores. Like I said, I spend all day doing chores, and my house looks like I didn't do a darn thing. Why? what am I doing wrong?
*time to prepare dinner. I spend an hour or so making dinner, and then no one likes it. now let me clean up dinner and do more dishes.
*ok I have more laundry to throw in.
*is it bath day? Yes, I don't give my kids baths every day. I know what you are thinking. yuck. It's a huge production giving kids a bath. I know other mom's do it every night. again, I am just not fit for the job
*The Best part of all! (sarcasm) Bed time routine! It takes over an hour! yes, yes, yes, I know! It shouldn't take this long, because you can do it in a half hour. another point off for me.
*Then I spend the next two hours trying to keep the kids in bed. I have tried many things as well. But obviously I am doing something wrong. Honestly, what do I know how to do?
That is my day.
But then we have everything in-between.
my kids:
fighting, and more fighting!
Asking for food all day long! non stop (don't worry, I don't give in)
messes, and the kind of messes that aren't normal. Like pee on the bathroom floor, poopy toilet paper, toys strung through out the house, fingernail polish spilt on my floor and wall, play dough in every nook and cranny, and the list is too long to write.
friends of my kids, knocking on my door all day.
friends in and out all day, making even more messes.
Friends asking me for food.
my kids comparing me to other mom's all the time.
I can't handle all this! I always thought I would be the fun, laid back, easy going mom, with my kids friends over to the fun house. I was so wrong! I just a mean, grumpy old lady.
How do you mom's do it? How do you keep the house clean, make up on, shower, hair curled, nice clothes, good sleep, sewing, crafts, yard work, canning, the gym, ironing, dinner done on time, reading novels, bed time done in a half hour, kids that sleep good, fun activities planned for your kids all the time, patients with neighbor kids, and the list goes on.
When I see what all other mom's do, and they have it all put together; and then I look at me, my house and my kids, I feel bad. I feel like I don't know what I am doing.
Then the advice that pours in, is so overwhelming! example: Don't yell at your kids, you are scaring them for life, don't spank, it's abuse. Don't ground or punish them, they need positivity, they need to be rewarded for good behavior, not punished for bad. let babies cry it out? don't let them cry it out?Vaccinate? don't vaccinate? Don't feed your kids that, they are watching too much TV? do you read to them? do they know the alphabet, and numbers? I mean the list goes on, and on. I feel like I can't do anything right.
I am sorry, this is long, and negative, But sometimes you have to get it off your chest.
And yes I am writing this at 4pm in my pj's and bun. No, my house isn't clean. ugh!!
August on the Way Out
3 weeks ago
6 comments:
Good grief girl! You've worn me out! Don't be so stinkin' hard on yourself!! Every mother experiences these things at some point or another. We all go thru depressing times too. Just tackle one thing at a time and don't worry about the rest. And quit worry about what everyone else thinks. Just be you and do what YOU think is best. Get on your knees and ask for help from the ONE who knows everything. Big Hugs!
Oh sugar, I can't even imagine trying too do your job. You are a great mom... why you ask? Because a great mom loves her children and her family more than anything, you put others needs above your own. Everything you do is for the good of our family. You try to always do and be your best for us. There is nothing anyone can say or do to top that. I believe you do a pretty darn great job. Don't compare yourselves to others, you never really know what goes on behind closed doors. One thing that most might have that you don't is a husband that isn't working 2 jobs and gone all the time. So many times your doing double the dirty of others. I love you and the kids love you! I wish I had all the answers to. We will figure them out together.... someday. Ha ha
kaycee anne my love, don't be so hard on yourself. Like was said before, you don't know what goes on behind closed doors. You ARE a GREAT mom!!! Do you know that I had to do 3 loads of clothes most days just to stay on top of it. (back when I had 6 kids at home and probably grandpa Don) It's a pain, I know! Ufff.... Don't ever worry about ironing. I just threw the wrinkled things back in the dryer and called it good. Dad always wanted you kids to keep your bedrooms cleaned. I told him as long as you kids kept your doors closed, I didn't care what your rooms looked like. We finally got Spencer out of our bed at night, but he was sleeping on the floor next to our bed. Maybe Elisa will sleep next to you if you hold her hand until she falls asleep. We've done that now with grandkids. Being a mom is the hardest job there is, but after alls said and done, it's the most rewarding. I love you!!!!
p.s. I work at a daycare in a rec. center. Half of the kids that come in there are crying for their moms to not leave them in there while their moms are working out. They cry when they are dropped off and take a while to stop. I imagine it's hard on all those moms to walk away from their kids while they are crying. At least you are working out while at home with your kids. Your kids will just need to learn to deal with it for 45 minutes.
I think you are a great mom. You don't have to be perfect to be great. Sometimes I get discouraged too with a messy house and fighting kids. I have no answers, but just want to offer a bit of encouragement...to hang in there. You are doing a great job!! :)
Haha! How do other moms do it all? We don't!!!!
OK, I'm pretty sure that I might fall on that list of moms you are comparing yourself to (at least virtually, judging by some of your "how do you do it?" comments on my blog) but Kaycee, my life is every bit as much as a mess, only in my own unique way. This week with back to school I literally wanted to throw in the towel on everything. I look around my house at the constant disaster and want to cry. And my kids are a little more spread out than yours, AND I'm not pregnant! Cut yourself some serious slack. Pregnancy and sleep deprivation are reasons alone to still be in your pj's at 4pm.
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