my story of sticks and stones

Last night after coming home from Parent teacher conference and being upset about how Abbey is doing in school. It took me back to my school days and the way they described Abbey, sounded a awful lot like me. It scared me! I decided to write about my childhood and how I had to deal with Bullies and how it affected my life.  Not sure if Abbey was being bullied, or maybe it's because she doesn't have many friends. But I was feeling sad.
Not only for her, but her friend, who I know is picked on, and for any child who maybe dealing with the pain I went through. School is hard, and it's extra hard when you are teased, or kids are mean, or you are alone. I thought it could educate parents.
I wrote my whole story! After I wrote it, I was feeling embarrassed that I shared such a story, that was really hard to share.  My insecurities started coming back. I deleted it, because I was too embarrassed to let anymore people read something that was so personal.
Right after I deleted it, I thought "why should you care Kaycee? you should share your experience because it could help someone." Then my cousin texted me and asked why I deleted it and she was wanting to share it with her boys and she thought it was inspired. which It probably was.
I don't know how to bring my story back, But I can rewrite my story.

I had titled it "STICK AND STONES"
Because as a child I felt and had heard this saying many times: "Stick and Stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you".
Growing up I knew that was a lie! Words can hurt people more then you will know! Even the smallest hurtful words can have a snow ball effect that can cause a lot of pain. Even just one hurtful  word to a child or adult can cause their self-esteem to go down the drain. I know, because I lived it first hand.  I had not shared this story with anyone until just Yesterday. (except Robby knew my story, and my parents knew most, but probably never knew all of it or how It REALLY made me feel)
My first time I could remember being bullied was in 2nd grade. That's when it really started.
I know every child will experience being teased, or left out, or encounters the  "mean child". It happens.
I had to experience it every day! It started with "you are ugly" "your clothes are ugly" "you look like a boy" "you have a boy name".
How does hearing those things affect a child? They start  to believe it. Then they loose their self worth, self esteem and confidence. Pretty soon "The bullies" see you are week and a easy target and the bullying gets worse and more frequent. It can be one bully, but in my case it was a group of kids. "The popular kids"  Soon it became un cool to be friends with Kaycee. So not even the non bullies wanted to play with me.
I was teased every day! I spent many recesses alone.  during PE when team captains would chose teams, I was always chosen last.
For Valentines when kids passed out Valentines to all the kids, I didn't get a single card. I went home crying. I spent many times in the bathroom crying. I would pretend to be sick, so I wouldn't have to go to school. I begged my mom to homeschool me. I finally started eating lunch at home.
I didn't feel like the teachers cared. They could see things going on, and they didn't do anything. They had the moto of "names cant hurt you"
My favorite teacher, the only one I liked was my 3rd grade teacher. She was the only one who took bullying, name calling and teasing serious. I will never forget her and her own saying: " Sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will break your heart".  Wow, someone who understood how I felt. someone who took me feelings seriously.
I started Failing school. Yes. F's in Elm School. Because I became too timid to ask questions,  answer questions, get up in front of the class or work in groups. I didn't want to add any fuel to be made fun of.
After leaving Elm school, and heading to the dreaded JR high. The worst 3 yrs a child can go through, my self esteem was at a all time low.
I wanted friends so badly! That I was friends with kids that I should have never been friends with. But they excepted me. or so I thought.
I became friends with people that were in gangs or their family members were in gangs.  That is a formula for disaster. Especially for someone who doesn't have self worth or confidence. A timid abused mouse. My boy friend was in a gang. "but hey, I had friends, right"? well when you realize these people/friends are not who you should be with, what you do? nothing cause your too scared. I was tormented by this family and their friends. I could not get away from them. The bullying "mobbing" was 10 times worse then ever. I was tormented in class, on the bus, walking home from school, at my house, and at church. to get away from the bullying, I sluffed every day. I failed at school.
if I had any self esteem left, I didn't know where to find it. I was miserable. It got to the point that we had to get the school involved. I was scared for my safety and my families safety. My dad had to walk me to my classes.
once I got to 10th grade, I had a knew group of friends. But I let people still treat me like crap and bully me. I still had to deal with it.  I think I was an easy target. One day my so called friend (a guy) hit me. I tried to stick up for my self and I hit him back. that made him mad. he got all his friends to torment me. Day in and day out. Again! I could not get away from the bullying. I learned that, once you let someone/s tear you down, it's hard to get back up and you will continue to be a target for those who are looking for someone to pick on.  Every day I would come home crying. day after day of his friends pushing me, making fun of me. One day his friend got a coat that was sprayed by a skunk (I lived in the country) and through it on me,  while on the bus and everyone laughed. That day, I snapped. I literally snapped and said to myself I can not take this anymore. My mom couldn't take it anymore either, and she said Kaycee I want you to go over and beat that guy. She turned her car around and I jumped out and ran over and pushed him to the ground and beat the crap out of him. I tell you this, because It was the first time, I had the strength to stick up for myself. I was not messed with after that. It helped regain my confidence that I am strong, and I don't need to take the crap.
The school, the bus driver, the parents weren't going to stop the bullying. I had to myself.
Luckily,  nowadays, hopefully people are taking bullying seriously. It is serious. WORDS do hurt! Words can change a person! I am lucky because some kids who are bullied do harm to themselves or others. That is why bullying needs to stop.
to all those people who have told me and still do tell me "your too sensitive"  "don't let what others say hurt you"  "words don't hurt"  your wrong! that is the worst advice to give.
Please talk to your kids. Really talk and teach them to be nice. Teach them how to treat others and to be friends with the nerd even if others don't. teach them to stick up for others. And if they are being bullied. listen to them. don't brush it off or make them feel stupid for having hurt feelings.  talk to the school and parents if your having trouble.
praise your kids and make them feel loved and important. I really don't have too much advice on how to stop bullies other then parents need to do more. they need to understand that their child could be the mean one, even if they don't think so. or want to believe it. be examples to your kids.